Being natural in University - a tangled mess?

Some people seem to have the misconception that natural hair is 'hard' to deal with and is not manageable. 

Before starting University, a few people - specifically black - asked me if I planned to wear my natural hair. Perhaps they assumed it would be a 'no'. I was considering wearing false hair the whole way through university in because the impression was that looking after my natural hair would be too 'long', amongst other things.

I also admit that having false hair in for the start of University made my routine a lot shorter, which I enjoyed immensely.

However I've been wearing my natural hair in University for a long time now and I must say it's absolutely FINE ☺.

I wanted to address the issue of the fact that curly natural hair is automatically labelled as difficult.

The reason why some black people struggle with the idea of natural black hair being as 'normal' as other hair types is because of our past. After years of having my hair relaxed, when I went natural I automatically straightened my hair - not giving myself a chance to realise how beautiful and 'manageable' my natural texture was. (This isn't to say that relaxing your hair is wrong, I'm just telling my story.) After years of wearing our hair straight, some black people still cannot fathom how easy it can be to wear your hair natural.

However it isn't just a stigma of the black community. I've had people from other races ask me if my hair is annoying, why I don't straighten it often, if I like my hair 😒 ...

I decided to fully embrace my hair and  I learnt to love it. Curly hair is so versatile, in fact, it makes getting ready exciting for me. I don't struggle as much as people assume I do.

This isn't to say that wearing your hair relaxed, or that wearing false hair is wrong. I mean I still kill it in braids and weaves. Styling is an individual preference. However I don't want a natural's reason for doing so to be based on the misconception that natural hair isn't beautiful. 

This is not to say that natural hair can't be a struggle or frustrating. There are knots, frizz, lack of definition when the desire was for definition...bad hair days. However a natural's bad hair day is just like a straight-haired persons bad hair day - you're unprepared and probably can't fix it in the moment. That's okay.

I chose to love my hair no matter what. I adjust my routine and get on with it. Style your hair how you want and kill it! Love every part of yourself and never allow another person's misconceptions to become your own.

Hair is hair - no form is superior to the other. Don't make assumptions about natural hair if you're not natural yourself, and don't even make assumptions when you're natural yourself - everyone's journey is different.

Having natural hair in University really hasn't been the struggle I assumed it would be. I'm just being me (yes that's a cliche term but that's all you can be).

P.s  The term natural was used in this context to refer to people that wear their hair in its original curly/coily form. The term 'black community' refers to my experience of some black people in the UK mainly, but also the wider black community...

Peace and love my frizzy, curly/coily, defined friends 💑.

Courtney Dionne Carr

'A Seat at the Table' - Celebrating Black Identity

Solange Knowles' album 'A Seat at the Table', released 30th September 2016, has become a chart success as well as a momentous piece of art.

The "Cranes in the Sky" singer has now scored her first number one album on the Billboard 200 chart.

Solange Knowles is an artist who produces music that can only be defined as peripheral. Although generically defined as R&B/Pop, the celebration of black identity and the soul poured into 'A Seat at the Table' truly makes this album legendary.

What made this even more impressive is that she has been so successful with an album that celebrates black identity.

In my opinion, Western culture often enjoys black culture when it is used as a means of popularity.  There are extensive examples of elements of black culture being used to further celebrity image; take Amandla Stenberg versus Kylie Jenner for example, when Amandla called out Kylie for "black appropriation".  Amandla critiqued Kylie for embracing a part of black culture - by furthering her "image" using cornrows, which is often associated with the black community world-wide - but, in Amandla's opinion, failing to speak up for issues that were affecting black people. 

The album cover/image accreditation: https://www.flickr.com/photos/144431412@N04/30252686030

 Through her music, Solange captures the opinion that black people being proud of their identity publicly is generally seen as unacceptable.

Track number 8 which is an interlude: "Tina Taught me" targets the issue of the rejection of black pride, featuring a short speech by her mother Tina Lawson, formally known as Tina Knowles.

She said: "There is so much beauty in being black. I've always been proud to be black. It really saddens me when we're not allowed to express that pride in being black and that if you do then it's considered anti-white. Just because you celebrate black culture does not mean that you don't like white culture or that you're putting it down."

This is an example of why Solange's 'A Seat at the Table" is so significant to both the black community and the music world.

The order of the tracks portray the message that Solange so convincingly puts across - a story of being weary of how black people are viewed and treated, which are beautifully crafted in the form of songs such as "Weary" and "Mad". The story then progresses to a theme of self-empowerment, and a brilliant example of this is "F.U.B.U" (For us by us), featuring artists The Chicago Kid and The Dream.

Some of the lyrics are shown below:

(chorus one)
All my n****s in the whole wide world,
All my n****s in the whole wide world,
Made this song to make it all y'all's turn,
For us, this sh*t is for us

(part of verse two)
When you feeling all alone
and you can't even be you up in your home...
when a n***a tryna board a plane
And they ask you, "What's your name again?"
Cause they thinking, "Yeah, you're all the same."
Oh, it's for us

(part of verse four)
Don't clip my wings before I learn to fly,
I didn't come back down to Earth to die.

(part of verse six)
Get so much from us
Then forget us

In one masterpiece Solange describes the hidden forms of racism  and discrimination that the black community still experience. For instance the lyric 'don't clip my wings before I've learnt to fly' can be interpreted as illustrating how the odds are sometimes stacked against the black community, as a result of how black people are sometimes perceived.

Other iconic tracks include: "Weary", "Mad" featuring Lil Wayne which seemingly reveals his personal experience of trying to commit suicide, "Don't touch my hair" which is significant because Solange often wears her natural hair in an Afro, and "Cranes in the Sky", amongst the others.

However, celebrating black identity doesn't mean exclusion for every other race. I believe that this album is a form of enjoyment for all. The album is simply a piece of art, not only because of its powerful story, but because of the variation of tones in Solange's voice, the different instruments used and the skillful transitions from track to track.

"A Seat at the Table" is an awe-inspiring experience.

* 3 tracks from "A Seat at the Table" contain explicit language.


- By Courtney Carr

My Flight-or-Fight Response

It's amazing how we can really master the art of sympathy. As we experience different situations and learn of other people's hardships, it becomes almost easy to offer phrases such as 'I can only imagine'. Now is this wrong? Of course not. I myself, had mastered this until I was hit with tragedy.

My mother died of cancer on the 12th July, 2016. I've had relatives with cancer. I've had family friends who suffered from cancer. It seems like the world has cancer. My mother had altogether suffered from cancer for 6 years before she passed away peacefully.

Annette Francis.
19th August 1971 - 12th July 2016

Here I am, standing in a position where I am no longer in the comfortable zone of sympathy. I'm now in the zone of what I'd like to call Direct Experience. My urge is to deny that my mother has died, that she ever had cancer, that it's all an illusion. I can choose to take flight, by running away from reality. Or I can chose to fight, survive and thrive.

The flight-response never results in good. Running from reality ensures that reality will catch up with you. Now I'm not a psychologist, but I know that denial is often thought to be a coping mechanism. In my opinion it's not a very good one, although it's commonly experienced during  times of trauma and grief. Denial does not work in the long term because the obvious thing about reality is, it's real.It always wins.

One of my problems has been my love for reasoning things out. I've found myself attempting to reason my emotions away. At one point I refused to cry because it made me feel extremely vulnerable. I even gave myself a deadline in regards to my grieving period, which I strongly advise anyone against doing. Crying made me feel weak. However crying produced something great in me. It made me stronger, because each time I cried, the ability to cope with my emotions improved. I'm still in the process. Think of it like this - all you can do is cry to the point where you have to stop. Then you get up, free of that day's emotions. It's a release, and release is vital to survive. Release is vital for the fight!

I refer to the continuation of my life, without my mother, as my 'fight.' I have to constantly fight against the urge to give up on life. I have to fight to be successful and to keep the balance between being consumed by my emotions and 'getting a grip.' It is my fight because it is my struggle.

In light of this Direct Experience I've learned a few things. You're allowed to be a mess. Yes, you do not have to 'be strong' or 'smile'. You can be a complete mess because one day you will rebuild your life. It's all apart of the process. Plus, if you're a believer in God like me, your faith will become a vital part of your life. I believe that belief and hope are key concepts to . Everything will come together as it should.

My grief is now a part of my life, but I'll use it to drive me forward. True writers write from the heart, and this has been a key season that I've had to pass through. I chose to fight.

- Courtney Carr